dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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