If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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