i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
