I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
last night I used snow as a chaser
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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