Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
