dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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