Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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