Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
