GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize