My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize