So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This is classic penis vs brain.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
