Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
