escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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