i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
