Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize