Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm always down for nudity.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
