Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
