Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
