hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
