the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
