And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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