She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
