I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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