I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
