I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
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all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
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I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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