Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
