Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just forgot I was standing up.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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