Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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