i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
