"it" just moved
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
well you can't waste a boner
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
