Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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