on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
