i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
