its not stalking. its research.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
