mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
