I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
Dude. She just shit herself.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.