Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle