You don't have asthma, your pregnant
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level