before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
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His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.