so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
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Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
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Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents