My sheets look like a crime scene.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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