I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to cum in my sink.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize