I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
