In the future we'll all be gay
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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