Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize