I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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