Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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