I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
