I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize