She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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