I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
