We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
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What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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