Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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