dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
