i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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