you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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