he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
