YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
