I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
