Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
