hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
