Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
